mandala workshop

i'm a little late in posting this, but better late than never!

last saturday i attended an art therapy/mandala workshop here in greensboro. i was originally scheduled to work when i heard about the workshop, but i decided to jump on the chance to attend something art therapy related in greensboro. when i arrived i realized most everyone was over 60. many were there just to nourish their inner artist, but there were some more middle aged professionals. of course i ended up at a table with two of the oldest people there - no networking for me, i thought! well, the workshop presenter turned out to be adorable and very knowledgable. she is a jungian-oriented art therapist who has extensively studied and practiced mandalas. you can explore her website here. during the first part of the workshop we had time to create and interpret our own mandalas. here's mine:

of course most everything on my mind that day was job hunting, and i was hoping to get some guidance from the experience. in my mandala i saw that my journey was being supported and literally held in God's hands. i already knew this, but the visual representation was reassuring and comforting. a lady at my table said when she saw mine she immediately thought "wind that will take me wherever i want to go!" how nice! of course you may see something totally different, but that's the joy of art! 

in the second part of the workshop we did a much more complicated (and wordy) mandala exploring an area of conflict or concern, in which you identified what you thought, felt, sensed, and intuitively knew about the topic, and then made several interpretations from there. i won't go into all the details, but i did gain a lot of insight into my stressed state about job hunting. i intuitively know that i am called to be an art therapist and i WILL find a job. but my thoughts/inner dialogue has been primarily discouraging, not hopeful. i think i've been putting too much emphasis on what i've been sensing (in this case hearing): hearing from discouraged classmates about looking for a job for a long time, hearing about a bad economy, hearing about needing a license, etc. yes, maybe these things are true, but they haven't actually been my experience. i've only been a graduate for a few weeks! so why am i discouraged!? things take time, and finding the right job will be no different. i need to trust what i intuitively know instead of what i've been doing, which is freaking out, of course. my challenge is to keep working hard at job hunting and not give up or let the discouragement (coming from my own head or elsewhere) paralyze my efforts! 

in addition to all of this, i was able to network with some professional art therapists in the area too! yippee! at the end of the day, i was so glad i attended this workshop. 

Joshua 1:9
Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be terrified; do not be discouraged, for the LORD your God will be with you wherever you go."


Romans 12:12
Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer.


John 14:27
Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid.

a new chapter...

things have been kinda tough lately. for one i've been sick, dealing with a sinus infection and blowing my nose constantly for well over a week. ugh. a lot of the things i was excited about accomplishing (like cleaning, organizing, and getting rid of stuff) haven't happened because i haven't felt like doing anything. i did manage to finally get the christmas decorations down on sunday. (yes, i did use the word "excited" because i didn't hardly have time to do any of that last year with my internship and my house needs it bad.) so that's been frustrating.

and now i'm finally done with my internship and the only thing i'm doing is getting more hours at starbucks. yippee. i don't have a grown-up job lined up. and i'm terrified about job hunting. i really don't know why. (i did apply to one place last night, but that's all the progress i've made so far - too busy blowing my nose.) i've been in school for 21 years. i did pretty great at my internship. i'm very professional. and yet i'm terrified. i think it's my old pal "perfectionism" trying to spoil my fun. i'm putting so much pressure on myself to find the job. but truth is, it is hard to get a job right now, especially in my field, especially when you don't have a counseling license. i don't want to settle, but i may need to be okay with the less than ideal job. i am only 26, right?

and along with the job stuff, i'm stressing about the timing of everything big time. to be frank, i have been married for 5 years and josh and i do talk about starting a family. of course that excites me, but i also want it to happen at just the right time. how will starting a career and starting a family work out? what if i don't get maternity leave? what if it takes me a while to find a job and then i start a family and get into a "new mom" rut and i don't put what i spent years (and lots of money) on to use? yada yada yada. too many thoughts!

in all honesty i know that God is in control. i know that his timing is perfect. i know he has the perfect job for me out there. i know that he has called me to be an art therapist and a mom. i know he has called me to trust him. but i'm finding it hard to take all this knowledge and let it change how i actually think and feel - feel patient and hopeful (and at peace where i'm at in this point of my life) instead of stressed and terrified. lord help me.

i will add that i have a wonderful husband who is extremely supportive of me. he wants me to find a job that i love and put my passion to work, but he is also not pressuring me in any way. he knows that job hunting takes time. i love him!

mural projects

since i posted next to nothing about my internship, i thought i'd share a little project that came together at the end of my time at Barium. it's a mural that i did, with the help of my supervisor and kids that live in the group homes at Barium. we decided to add a spring tree and a fall tree to the hallways at the counseling center. the leaves are all handprints! the hallway was terribly drab before, so it was nice to leave something bright and cheery behind! the kids LOVED stamping their hands!

i also helped the teens that live in the substance abuse home do a smaller mural in the conference room. this was previously a big piece of plywood already framed out, just waiting for some artistic love! the kids came up with the ideas and executed it from A to Z! they decided on a group home and a sun rising representing hope. the teen who did the cross lost his mom to drugs. he draws the cross all the time as a symbol for her. 

i'm super proud! and i miss those kids!