super bowl recap

well, the party turned out to be a delight. i was so exhausted by the time it actually started that i was just excited to be able to sit and relax a little. too much cleaning and cooking. i really like to host, but man it's a lot of work. the food was yummy and i think everyone had a nice time. i should have taken more pictures. i did take this one of josh before it started:

he was holding up the foam finger and a mini football he got at his most recent work meeting. he's clearly excited. no, our cable box isn't normally on a T.V. tray in front of the fire place. josh went to great lengths moving around the furniture to maximize seating and T.V. viewing. here's a better angle: 

we brought in the love seat from josh's office and put it where the T.V. normally is, and then moved the T.V. over to block the hideous apartment blinds and the sliding door/balcony. josh likes the new arrangement quite a bit and wants to leave it this way. i'm not so sure. of course we can get a longer cable cord, but do i want to permanently block a sliding door/balcony? i don't know. we do have another balcony off the back through josh's office, but still. i like to open the door and let the light/fresh air in when i can. hmm... i think we're going to try it out for a few days. 

well today i'm feeling completely exhausted. of course i had to work at 5 this morning, so i only got a few hours of sleep. i'm also feeling quite irritated: about the day after the super bowl not being a holiday, about people not tipping this morning, about the ridiculously thick layer of wall paint covering our entire apartment (it seriously makes the doors stick and our food stick to our cabinet shelves, about not losing as much weight as i wanted to this week... woe is me. i know i'm ridiculous. i need a nap. 

bapron and the january blahs...

i'll start off this post with some pics of the baprons i made for connor's first birthday! (if you are wondering what the heck a baron is thing bib/apron.) i made him a quilt last year before he was born. you can check that out here. i can't believe it's been a year already! i'm sad i've missed so much of connor's first year, but i guess that's just part of moving. i will get to see him in a couple weeks when we go to ohio for our annual hocking hills trip! anyway, connor's mama mindy has a pinterest board titled "things i want tiffany to make me." perfect place to go to decide what to make for connor's first birthday! i thought the bapron looked do-able and adorable so i started there! i used this tutorial. i would definitely make these again for future baby friends, but i wouldn't make my own bias tape, that was a pain. (or maybe i would if i had a bias tape maker thing, instead of just me and my iron.) so here are a few pics! i just love the fabrics!

 and here's the birthday boy modeling one! mindy said he kept pointing at it... not sure if that's a good thing? oh well!  

anyway, i haven't been blogging much lately because i haven't felt like doing much in general. don't get me wrong, i've been busy, but i'm not feeling very passionate these days. job hunting is totally overwhelming. i'm working at starbucks a lot more, which, in a pathetic sort of way, really wears me out. i went from this really wonderful internship experience where i really felt like i was really having an impact on people, to making coffee. i don't feel like God is really using me when i'm just a barista. i know that's wrong. i know i'm called to do everything for God's glory. i know that i'm also called to be an art therapist and i do believe that will happen. i just need to be patient. i'm trying to be thankful for this "break" without getting comfortable here. anyway, some blog-worthy things are happening, so i'll try to post more soon, so the 2 of you who read this can keep up! :) 

today

today i went to zumba and sweat like an obese woman running a marathon along the equator. it was a good time. my pass ends wednesday ($20 for 20 visits living social deal) so i need to start scoping out where to go to next. i could buy a pass at the place i've been going to, but it's kinda expensive and the drive is a pain. we'll see... if you haven't tried, i highly recommend zumba (even for uncoordinated people like myself!)

today i'm excited about this rainbow fabric swap that i signed up for! i love all things rainbow, and the jewel tones just makes it even better. as a kid i had rainbow suspenders that i LOVED. i'm excited to make a quilt with the squares i get back. this one i plan to keep!

today my husband is studying very diligently, because he has started online classes to get his MBA! i'm super proud of him, but i'm also not used to him being so focused on school work either! ha! if you're curious, he's attending Louisiana Tech through a promotion with Murphy USA (his employer), so we are getting quite a deal!

today my sister and brother-in-law are flying to orlando for a very important week in the process of them leaving for south asia. (of course they're also going to hit up disney next weekend, and i'm pretty jealous!) i'm praying for safe travels and an awesome week for them. you can read more about their journey here.

today i'm also doing laundry and writing session notes. blah. i'm really not interested in doing either. i have lots of session notes to write (as always) because i'm now leading three groups every thursday at my internship! three groups + one session note for each kid in the group = tons of work for me! i might sew later. we'll see.

i hope you're enjoying your day!

missing out

i stumbled upon this blog post last night, and it really spoke to me about something I struggle with daily: missing out. i hate it. i've always felt this way. like i needed to be a part of everything.

example: when i was younger i remember begging to be a part of my sister's slumber parties. i just had to listen in on their conversations and know what was going on. with my mom's involvement, i was usually able to join the festivities for part of the time, before being sent to my room so that the older girls could be left alone. once i devised a brilliant plan: i pretended to fall asleep, just so i could listen in a little longer! it worked, and i felt so proud of myself. (sorry krystal!)

yes, part of that is just being a younger sister, but it also goes back to my fundamental dislike for all things missing out. i want to read all of the books that come out that everyone talks about (like the help and water for elephants and the girl with the dragon tattoo and the hunger games, all right now) but blame my inability to do so on grad school. this is partially true, but it's also ridiculous to want to read every book just to be in the know. and i feel lame because i haven't traveled all over the world and visited cool places. and i like to know what's going on in the world. and i absolutely hate it when i feel left out of social circles. this has been the biggest struggle for me over the past few years, with moving away from friends multiple times. i still feel a twinge (or more than a twinge really) of jealousy and sadness when i think about my friends in columbus hanging out after church on sunday nights, or hear about a roommate reunion in northern kentucky i can't attend. just these past few weeks my sister and brother-in-law have been at home visiting my parents, and it has been so hard for me to hear about my mom and sister hanging out and doing fun things together.

why all this concern? it sounds like i fear that i will be forgotten if i'm not there. i know this isn't true. and what does this tell me? it tells me i'm finding my identity in other people, their wanting me around and their approval of me, as opposed to in christ. i hate that. i can't be everywhere. i can't do everything. and that's how god designed things. maybe he did that so we'd have no choice BUT to find out identity in him and him alone. finding our approval and identity in others will always fail. people will end up disappointing us, and we will disappoint them. and we can't be everywhere, only god can. and he knows where we are in each moment and he ordained it way ahead of time. i'm sure he wants us to live in that moment and embrace it as a gift from him. writing this doesn't change the fact that i struggle with this, but it does help to get it out. maybe i'm not the only one who feels this way...

surprisingly, i have many more thoughts on this topic, but i'll save them for another post. :)

why me?

today i'm having one of those "why me!?" sort of days - the long ones where all you want to do is go back to sleep but you have to just keep trudging along, pitying yourself randomly throughout the day. i worked from 5-ll this morning. getting up at 4:30 is never fun, especially after a long day at your internship and evening at small group the day before, and the fact that your body can only fall asleep so early. then i came home briefly and then headed to the mitsubishi dealership in highpoint, about a 30 minute drive. this is becoming quite the regular occurrence because, since paying off the montero in the spring, pretty much everything (okay, that's an exaggeration) has decided to go out at the same time - breaks (expensive), O2 sensors (very expensive), air conditioning (very expensive - still not fixed), etc. i'm tired of spending my afternoons at a car dealership! and did you know that north carolina requires inspections before you can re-register your car after moving from out of state? they do! and boy are they a pain! our registration was due in august, and you can't pass an inspection with a check engine light on, hence the large amounts of money and afternoons in a waiting room... so, i am PRAYING that the other O2 sensors hold out long enough for me to pass an inspection (we've had 2 of 4 replaced) and i am PRAYING that cops are nice if/when they pull me over within the next day or so. AND, while waiting at the dealership, i found out that someone had gotten my debit card and used it on "adult" websites! ugh! luckily wachovia is on top of things and i should be getting a new card soon, but it's still a pain to not have a debit card (especially when you and your spouse have been totally slacking on all things dave ramsey and not carrying cash!). fortunately josh was not 2 hours away and could bring me some cash to the dealership so i could pay them. i've also had a stomach ache and generally felt pretty crappy throughout the day. and i thought my best friend was pregnant and i found out on fb. (luckily that wasn't true but i did cry over it.) and i had one of those, "i'm-horrible-at-this-i-can't-follow-anything!" nights at zumba. (i had never been to that instructor). and so on and so on.

but throughout the day, i have thought, "why on earth am i pitying myself over such trivial things!?!" i am so blessed to have a car (that despite its issues has always gotten me from A to B). and i have a job. and i have money to pay for car repairs, even though it's getting tight around here! so many people would love to have the things i am complaining about! and all around me i know people with serious health problems, serious, big issues going on. my exhaustion and complaints are nothing in comparison to that. so, i guess i just needed to have a little confession to God, and to my blog, apparently! on that note, please say a prayer for my cousins who lost their dad in a horrible car accident over the weekend. the funeral was today.

lately...

since i haven't posted a real blog entry in months, here's a little update about what's going on with me...

this weekend has been a little lonely, with josh leaving for the coast early yesterday morning. he's supposed to get back late tonight. (why did he drive towards the hurricane, you ask? to help with the murphy gas stations that were effected by the storm. fun fun.) irene actually ruined our original plans for the weekend, we were actually going to head home to northern kentucky to surprise my sister for her birthday saturday night and go to josh's grandma's (nonna's) 80th birthday party on sunday. darn you, irene.

so what did i do with a free weekend? (especially since i didn't have to work saturday (which i always do, i traded since we were planning on leaving.) unfortunately i was up pretty early helping josh finish packing and i couldn't get back to sleep. i went to zumba, colored my hair (my grays were out of control!), had yummy frozen yogurt covered in fruit with a friend, mexican food for dinner with another friend, and hung out at home with my cat a lot. today i went to church by myself, zumba again, laundry. wild, i know. i've also done that really boring cleaning up the house, paying bills, grown-up stuff that i have to do every so often. we still need groceries in a serious way, so hopefully i will force myself to do that tomorrow. i've been horrible at cooking lately since i'm so busy (not that you would believe me by the way my weekend sounds), so maybe some yummy ingredients in the refrigerator will motivate me to get in the kitchen! now i'm watching julie and julia on t.v. (even though we have the DVD - i hate when i do that!) and holding my cat. he's good company.

anyway, i'm looking forward to having my husband back. it's funny, because i certainly enjoy having the  alone time every now and then, but then i also miss him like crazy when he's gone. i guess that's what happens when you marry your best friend!

okay so that was pretty boring but oh well! i hope you had a good weekend!

yes, i've moved!

not to a different state, thank God, just my blog has moved.

why, you ask? well, i feel like i needed a revamp for one thing. i hadn't been posting much lately. of course part of that was just because i was busy, but i also just wasn't feeling the old blog. wordpress also got on my nerves (sorry wordpress). i was done with the layouts, and uploading photos and getting my page to look nice always seemed to be a pain! so here i am at blogger!

as for the new name, if you know me, you know that i am (or was) a perfectionist. it's something i've been struggling with since day one. i do like to think of myself as a RECOVERING perfectionist though, meaning that i'm working on seeking balance and experience more that perfection these days. it's a process. :)

my sister just started a blog, as she is making some big changes in life and i'm insisting that i stay in the know. after months of bugging her she finally started one, so i figure i need to hold up my end of the bargain and blog as well. i hope this will be a way for me to stay in touch with my sister, my family, and my friends all over the country. welcome!