bapron and the january blahs...

i'll start off this post with some pics of the baprons i made for connor's first birthday! (if you are wondering what the heck a baron is thing bib/apron.) i made him a quilt last year before he was born. you can check that out here. i can't believe it's been a year already! i'm sad i've missed so much of connor's first year, but i guess that's just part of moving. i will get to see him in a couple weeks when we go to ohio for our annual hocking hills trip! anyway, connor's mama mindy has a pinterest board titled "things i want tiffany to make me." perfect place to go to decide what to make for connor's first birthday! i thought the bapron looked do-able and adorable so i started there! i used this tutorial. i would definitely make these again for future baby friends, but i wouldn't make my own bias tape, that was a pain. (or maybe i would if i had a bias tape maker thing, instead of just me and my iron.) so here are a few pics! i just love the fabrics!

 and here's the birthday boy modeling one! mindy said he kept pointing at it... not sure if that's a good thing? oh well!  

anyway, i haven't been blogging much lately because i haven't felt like doing much in general. don't get me wrong, i've been busy, but i'm not feeling very passionate these days. job hunting is totally overwhelming. i'm working at starbucks a lot more, which, in a pathetic sort of way, really wears me out. i went from this really wonderful internship experience where i really felt like i was really having an impact on people, to making coffee. i don't feel like God is really using me when i'm just a barista. i know that's wrong. i know i'm called to do everything for God's glory. i know that i'm also called to be an art therapist and i do believe that will happen. i just need to be patient. i'm trying to be thankful for this "break" without getting comfortable here. anyway, some blog-worthy things are happening, so i'll try to post more soon, so the 2 of you who read this can keep up! :) 

a new chapter...

things have been kinda tough lately. for one i've been sick, dealing with a sinus infection and blowing my nose constantly for well over a week. ugh. a lot of the things i was excited about accomplishing (like cleaning, organizing, and getting rid of stuff) haven't happened because i haven't felt like doing anything. i did manage to finally get the christmas decorations down on sunday. (yes, i did use the word "excited" because i didn't hardly have time to do any of that last year with my internship and my house needs it bad.) so that's been frustrating.

and now i'm finally done with my internship and the only thing i'm doing is getting more hours at starbucks. yippee. i don't have a grown-up job lined up. and i'm terrified about job hunting. i really don't know why. (i did apply to one place last night, but that's all the progress i've made so far - too busy blowing my nose.) i've been in school for 21 years. i did pretty great at my internship. i'm very professional. and yet i'm terrified. i think it's my old pal "perfectionism" trying to spoil my fun. i'm putting so much pressure on myself to find the job. but truth is, it is hard to get a job right now, especially in my field, especially when you don't have a counseling license. i don't want to settle, but i may need to be okay with the less than ideal job. i am only 26, right?

and along with the job stuff, i'm stressing about the timing of everything big time. to be frank, i have been married for 5 years and josh and i do talk about starting a family. of course that excites me, but i also want it to happen at just the right time. how will starting a career and starting a family work out? what if i don't get maternity leave? what if it takes me a while to find a job and then i start a family and get into a "new mom" rut and i don't put what i spent years (and lots of money) on to use? yada yada yada. too many thoughts!

in all honesty i know that God is in control. i know that his timing is perfect. i know he has the perfect job for me out there. i know that he has called me to be an art therapist and a mom. i know he has called me to trust him. but i'm finding it hard to take all this knowledge and let it change how i actually think and feel - feel patient and hopeful (and at peace where i'm at in this point of my life) instead of stressed and terrified. lord help me.

i will add that i have a wonderful husband who is extremely supportive of me. he wants me to find a job that i love and put my passion to work, but he is also not pressuring me in any way. he knows that job hunting takes time. i love him!

a great article

here's a great article about marriage by one of my favorite preachers! you can find podcasts of his sermons on itunes.

i especially love the last part. i know i need to work on balancing (or exemplifying?) both love and truth.

mural projects

since i posted next to nothing about my internship, i thought i'd share a little project that came together at the end of my time at Barium. it's a mural that i did, with the help of my supervisor and kids that live in the group homes at Barium. we decided to add a spring tree and a fall tree to the hallways at the counseling center. the leaves are all handprints! the hallway was terribly drab before, so it was nice to leave something bright and cheery behind! the kids LOVED stamping their hands!

i also helped the teens that live in the substance abuse home do a smaller mural in the conference room. this was previously a big piece of plywood already framed out, just waiting for some artistic love! the kids came up with the ideas and executed it from A to Z! they decided on a group home and a sun rising representing hope. the teen who did the cross lost his mom to drugs. he draws the cross all the time as a symbol for her. 

i'm super proud! and i miss those kids! 

sweet goodbyes

well, today has been hard and good. there were no forced goodbyes last night, but we were able to spend some nice time together walking and taking pictures at 2 Rivers park/bridge in Little Rock. we all managed to hold ourselves together relatively well at the airport. several days ago i decided to buy a card and write in it instead of sobbing and blubbering my way through what i wanted to say. i think that was a good decision. several others decided to do the same, and krystal had cards for each of us so we all had the same idea, i guess. i hope she liked her card. the goodbyes weren't perfect. maybe there was more airport stuff than what my sister wanted. but they were good. nothing is perfect when you have imperfect people who really love each other trying to handle really intense emotions the best they can. i hope krystal and brad look back on those airport hugs and tears with joy. we all love them so much.

we love you krystal and brad! you can follow them here! 

ah yes, the blog.

i haven't forgotten you, blog! but i have been extremely busy! since my last post several big things have happened, the biggest being that i actually finished my internship. after an extension or so i had a pretty strong goal to finish before our 5th anniversary/going home for christmas and i did! yipee! one last little unit to go and i am completely done with grad school! finally! four and a half years later! but more about that later.

since finishing my internship on the 21st we celebrated our 5th anniversary on the 22nd, and left for home on the 23rd. we had a great time with both of our families, and then yesterday i departed with my parents, sister, and brother-in-law to arkansas. josh has stayed behind in kentucky to spend a few extra days with his family and then drive back to north carolina. why am i in arkansas?! well, that long awaited (or dreaded?) time has arrived: my sister is leaving for south asia on the 1st. just typing that makes me stop and think. my only sister. south asia. three and a half to four years away.

OMG.

how am i handling it? well, as good as expected? better than you might hope? probably not. i don't really know. how am i supposed to handle this? i'm not sure. i'm not going to lie, i've shed a lot of tears, and i know more will come. my sister wants to have all serious goodbyes take place tomorrow night and have quick, happy goodbyes sunday at the airport. that's a great idea, but i'm really not sure how i'm supposed to make that happen. i don't know how to really say goodbye saturday night when i know i'm going to eat brunch with her sunday morning. i will probably be able to manage a few tears in the airport and then save the real sobbing for once i get in the car. with my parents. to drive to nashville. what a fun trip that will be! three depressed people. driving five hours. lord help us. i'm praying that i will say the right words and act the right way. i'm praying for a less selfish perspective and a more godly one. i'm working on it. promise. but when it comes down to it, i'm really going to miss my sister.

sewing with bri

my friend briana and i implemented weekly (or that's the hope anyway) craft/sewing nights to (ideally) make christmas presents! fun fun! our first couple weeks were devoted to a collaborative project to make our friend sarah's bridal shower gifts. we finally got to give them to her saturday and i think they were a hit!

reversible placemats and napkins! i think we did pretty good, because sarah definitely thought she registered for them at first! 

and a super cute apron! (modeled by bri here)

sarah sported it for the rest of the shower. is she a cute bride or what!?

me, sarah, and briana

tutorials here and here.