some more of olivia's firsts!

let's start with olivia's first holiday! of course we didn't venture out with such a young babe, but it was fun none the less! 

the morning started with olivia meeting her cousin lily for the first time! (via skype)

olivia wasn't too enthralled but she did smile a little.

hi lily!

you can meet lily over here at my sister's blog.

later in the day olivia got her first easter basket, complete with a book, stuffed duck, sunglasses, and candy! what more could an eleven day old baby want!?

on olivia's first holiday mom and nana also dressed her up in some easterish garb (we didn't buy a dress when we weren't leaving the house!) and posed her a little for pictures. because that's just good fun! 

here's the first time we caught olivia airing out her chins. how adorable is she!? she slept like this for quite a while! 

 and here's olivia's first time wearing shoes!!!

 i can hardly stand the cuteness!

here's mom and O out for our first walk - and our first time sporting the baby k'tan! it was a success! 

how precious is she!?

i'm just loving life with a new baby! (even though i'm completely exhausted, i feel like a dairy cow, and i'm pretty sure my brain cells all flow out of me in my milk!) 

olivia's birth story

warning: longest blog post ever. i don't know why i didn't divide it up into parts. sorry. if you're one of the two people that reads this blog and you're really curious, go fix a cup of coffee and enjoy! 

it's amazing that 2 weeks ago (i worked on this post for days) i was heading to panera with my mom and josh to enjoy my allotted "small meal" before going into the hospital to be induced! time is truly flying by and my sweet, tiny baby is growing like a weed! i want to back up and record just how olivia's birth story happened because i'm sentimental and i want to remember these things! it was quite an event!

after eating panera we arrived at the hospital at 7:15pm on march 19th. we did a little bit of paperwork and i got my first hospital bracelet. josh and mom stopped to register as visitors and get their visitor badges at the desk and i got walked to our first room (172) around 7:30, where i got to scrub my belly and put on my oh-so-attractive hospital gown. josh and mom joined shortly and we joked about their "official" visitor badges, which were hand written on plain badges ("visitor room 172") because the machine was down. sadly this was a bit of a theme for the evening. i got my belly all hooked up to the contraction monitor and the baby's heart rate monitor, which were working but the computer screen that was supposed to show the readings were not working. ugh. the nurse noted that i was already having a few irregular small contractions but i didn't notice them. i also got my IV started with fluids. the room was noticeably warm and after the nurse turned down the air several times and nothing happened she eventually decided to move us down the hall to room 173 around 8:30. the evening was off to a great start! at this point i was just hot and annoyed, in addition to super nervous, which was nothing new.

after we got settled in the new room it was finally time to get the show on the road around 9:30, which is about the time i got the cervidil inserted to "ripen my cervix." boy was that fun super uncomfortable. the cervidil was basically just supposed to help things ripen away for 12 hours while i tried to sleep. i also got my first round of IV meds for group B strep which i had tested positive for a few weeks earlier. lucky me! around 10 my mom headed home and josh set up wreck it ralph which we had gotten from the redbox on our laptop. the nurse also came in to take me off the fluids and heplock my IV, saying that it was unnecessary at this point and i'd be able to sleep better if i wasn't so hooked up. within a few minutes (it was seriously about 10:15!) i was having pretty bad cramps to the point that i couldn't even watch or think about wreck it ralph. after a few minutes i called the nurse who agreed that i was already having contractions. wow! that was fast! i continued to fight the contractions for a little while before the nurse started my fluids back up, saying that might help. around 11:30 i was really in a lot of pain so i called the nurse again, who gave me my first dose of the IV pain medicine stadol. she said that it would make me feel like i had too many margaritas but it should help a lot. sold. it did immediately make me feel super dizzy, but unfortunately that was about it. i guess it did give me some relief because i could catch my breath and relax a little in between the contractions. the nurse watched me gripping onto the bed rails in pain and commented that she was surprised i wasn't passed out asleep yet. yeah right. around that time i was checked and told i was about 1cm dilated. the nurse seemed surprised at the intensity of my contractions and pain and decided that i had probably arrived at the hospital to be induced already in labor. either that or my cervix just needed a little jump start and a little bit of time with the cervidil was all it took. either way, i was in pain!

well the contractions continued every few minutes and i continued to grip the bed rails in pain and attempt to do some deep breathing with each one. i can't really remember if josh went on watching wreck it ralph or if he fell asleep. either way, i was kinda on my own. finally around 1:10am the nurse decided to take the cervidil out, saying that it clearly wasn't needed. that was one of the worst parts of the whole experience, but i'll spare you the details. she also upped my fluids and said that should help. not long after i got a second dose of stadol. nothing was really helping and i continued to labor through painful contraction after painful contraction the entire night, each time gripping the bed rails and trying my best to breathe deeply. josh was out and i tried to relax/drift off between contractions, but the night overall was definitely exhausting, painful, and lonely. i could have woken josh up, of course, but i figured he needed to sleep for whatever was ahead. i waited until around 5am to call my mom, knowing that was close to her normal wake-up time. i told her how i had been in labor all night and she said she'd be at the hospital shortly.

around 6 my mom arrived (yay!) and the nurse returned to check my progress. i was 3cm. progress! i was still in terrible pain and the nurse said that another dose of stadol would likely be ineffective and my best option for pain management would be an epidural. i really didn't want an epidural but i also felt kinda helpless to fight the pain on my own. she left me alone to think about it and try to manage the pain through other techniques. with her recommendation i gave the birthing ball a chance, but i felt so exhausted and so much in pain that after i sat on it for about a minute i decided the epidural was my best option. i had anticipated sleeping the night away while my cervix ripened and nothing was further from the truth. i was pooped and in severe pain. around 6:45 i told the nurse i wanted the epidural and within minutes the nicest anesthesiologist ever was in our room getting me all prepped and ready. i was super nervous but she just walked me through the process and in no time i tasted sweet relief!

around 7:45 my doctor came in and decided to go ahead and break my water. this was a complete walk in the part compared to the whole cervidil thing, other than it just feeling totally weird. a few minutes later i got a catheter set up, which was no fun and certainly awkward. fortunately i was in quite a sleepy state at this point. after the catheter i drifted off to sleep and was finally able to get some rest until about 10 when i woke up suddenly with a contraction. mom had been sitting next to me the entire time and was watching me have contractions every few minutes while i slept, blissfully unaware thanks to the epidural. after a couple more sharp contractions (which were uncomfortable but a walk in the park compared to the night i had had) she called the nurse in to report the news. the nurse checked me and reported that i was 7 to 8cm! woohoo! unfortunately i was also feeling terribly nauseous for some reason so i was given something for nausea. a little after 11 i was checked again and i was 10cm! go time!

around 11:30 i began pushing, which was a pretty interesting experience with an epidural. i could feel my contractions but they felt more like dull cramps than sharp pains, so i really had to pay attention to my body in order to capitalize on them. i tried to listen to everything the nurse said and channel my energy into pushing instead of screaming or tensing my legs or whatever, which some friends had suggested. everyone said i was doing well and time passed rather quickly actually, considering it didn't seem like long before my doctor came in at 1:15 to see how things were progressing. she said i was pushing well but my progress wasn't great, so she would let me go another 30 minutes and then see how things were going. at 1:45ish she returned and not much had changed. i was doing good but the baby just wasn't moving down like it should. at this point she suggested a csection, and explained that i could try for another 30 minutes but she didn't really want me to push more than 3 hours because it stresses the baby too much. i remember crying and feeling so disappointed because i thought i was doing good but it just wasn't enough. i didn't really agonize over the decision though because i really like my doctor and trusted her judgment, and i didn't want to risk harming the baby. so csection it was!

this part was especially scary because everything happened so fast. they brought in the hospital garb for josh and a special shirt to wear under it incase he wanted to do skin-to-skin with olivia. my mom snapped a few pics and comforted me as i cried over having to have a csection. a little after 2 i was wheeled out of the room and down to the OR. they kept josh out of the room while they moved me onto the table and got me all prepped. the room was cold, bright, and full of people who were all nice but so covered behind surgical masks that i didn't feel any less terrified. finally they let josh join me and we tried to chat while everyone did their thing on the other side of the curtain. after quite a lot of tugging and pressure and moving around my insides we heard the most wonderful sound ever at 2:33pm - our precious baby screaming her little heart out! it was wonderful! josh got to join the nurses while they cleaned her up a bit and then they brought her over and put her on my chest for some skin-to-skin with momma! i cried over how beautiful she was and how much i loved her. the only upsetting thing was that i could barely hold on to her because one arm was strapped down and the other had a blood pressure cuff that tightened every couple minutes. after several minutes i started to feel bad and i was worried my baby was going to slide off my chest so i told josh to do skin-to-skin with her. i started to feel worse so i told josh to tell a nurse, which he did but i didn't think he told the right one so then i tried to yell "i don't feel good." two seconds later i had a little vomit bucket next to my face and i was throwing up - laying down, with vomit running down the side of my face. awesome. i started to feel very dizzy and nauseous, and josh was whisked away with olivia to the nursery.

the OR recovery room sucked. i continued to feel dizzy and nauseous and more drugs were administered for the nausea. i was in a crazy room with nurses and post csection moms everywhere, we were all just divided by curtains. i was told in my half-aware state that i could get to a regular room once i could lift my knees up a certain amount so i immediately starting working on wiggling my toes and moving my legs. i was frustrated because every other mom i saw had her husband and her baby with her and i had no one. the mom right next to me had her husband, baby, and a lactation consultant helping her nurse! not fair! apparently i was surrounded by a heartier group of women that didn't get as sick as me. boo. i asked about my mom coming to be with me but they said only the support person with the matching hospital bracelet could be back there, and since josh was with olivia in the nursery i was screwed. i so badly wanted to know how my baby was. my doctor stopped by and offered some comfort, saying that everything had gone well and that olivia was turned sideways so the csection was definitely the right move. yay for that! i was told around 4 that they would be working on getting me out of there soon, but then i continued to lay there with little to no attention for quite a while. finally they cleaned me up and got me all suited up in some fancy mesh panties. sometime around 5 i finally got wheeled down to my recovery room where i saw my mom in the hall with a bunch of our stuff. yay! once we got in the room she mentioned that olivia weighed 7 pounds, 7 ounces like it was information i knew, and i cried telling her that i had been all alone and i didn't know a thing about my baby! she then told me that she was 19 and 3/4 inches long. finally josh came in with olivia around 5:30 and our little family was together!

olivia, you made quite the entrance! we are so thankful for you and thankful that, even though things were crazy, we had a great doctor that we could trust to get you out of me in the way that needed to happen. your dad and i love you SO MUCH and we are so excited to be your parents!

dad ready to go! 

first picture of our baby girl! 

me finally getting to see olivia! 

trying to do skin-to-skin before getting sick

what a proud dad! 

nana meeting her grandbaby :) 

maternity pics

i wrote this a while ago and then saved it as a draft. oops!

our friend wayne did a great job with our maternity pictures, despite my pastiness and josh's tiredness. and the horrible weather - freezing cold drizzle! ugh. you can check out his website here! here's a "few" of my faves. :)

olivia - 1 week!

so i'm working on olivia's birth story, but for now i want to document that my little girl is already one week old! i snuck up on nonna (josh's mom) today and asked to hold her, because i wanted to be the one holding her on her one week birthday! and sure enough, at 2:33pm, i held her and started crying, because what else have i done every 10 minutes since giving birth to her!? how crazy this week has been. the range of emotions that i have experienced could never really be documented, but suffice it to say that i just cannot believe that one week of my life could fly by so quickly. i want to cherish every moment i have with her, which is hard when you are going on very little sleep, feeling completely exhausted, and feeling pain all over your body!

i don't have a format for this, and there is no way i will do this every week, so i'll just wing it! 

olivia, you are a great sleeper! you generally fall asleep shortly after eating, and you love to sleep in your crib best. this is hard for your momma because you look so tiny in your crib and i can't be right next to you. your dad and i are still trying to figure out what our nights look like, but we are using the video monitor a lot and trying to let you sleep in there since that's where you are happiest. we don't really have a schedule for now, but you like to eat every 2-3 hours, which is good for your momma since she has more milk than she knows what to do with!

at the pediatrician on monday you weighed 7 pounds, 8 ounces, which is exactly one ounce more that you weighed at birth! clearly you are a good eater! the fact that we seem to change your diaper non-stop also suggests this.

you are one strong baby! you were lifting your head a little right after you were born, and you have the strongest arms and legs! you actually do little leg lifts while you sleep, which we feel the effects of when we go to change you and we can barely close the tabs on your diaper because you won't put your legs down! your arms are also very strong and you love to have them up by your face when you nurse. sometimes it is so hard for me to pull them out of the way! lastly, you are already rolling to your side when you sleep! how do you do that!?

you love to cuddle with anyone, but especially your dad. you are seriously one of the cuddliest babies i have ever seen, which makes me so happy. i just love to snuggle you and stare at you after you finish eating and fall asleep. little drops of milk dribble down your chin and you look completely and utterly relaxed. i stare at all of your features and gently stroke your cheek or arm, and think about how i am the luckiest momma in the world. i love you so much it hurts!

of course this first week has been all about just adjusting to life outside the womb for you. we were in the hospital until the 23rd, and then we've been home since then except for venturing to the pediatrician on monday the 25th. nana came down the day before you were born and stayed until monday, and nonna came on sunday and is staying through the week. you love both of your grandmas so much, and of course they are totally smitten with you! how could they not be!? here are a few pictures from your first week!

nana staring at her beautiful granddaughter 

first ride in the car! 

sleeping on your side in your crib

sunning away your mild jaundice 

i need to get daddy's phone and steal some pictures from there! (like your first bath!) 

olivia's due date (march 18th)

warning: this is a big paragraph probably full of run-on sentences. read at your own risk.

well, olivia's due date came and i did not wake up in labor as i had hoped. off to the doctor we went for our 9:50 appointment. i had hoped that between all the walking and bouncing i would be dilated at least a couple centimeters, but when they checked they said that nothing had changed from the previous week, meaning that my cervix was soft but that. was. it. ugh. are you serious?! so since it was my due date they did a non-stress test and ultrasound just to check and see how everything was going in there. the ultrasound was first, and after waiting for quite a while we went back for the whole goop on the belly shebang. i was excited to see olivia but didn't really expect much since i've heard at this point babies look pretty blobby anyway. sure enough, she looked pretty blobby. we did get to see her profile and her big foot again, and we were told that she was laying on her left side with her arms and legs to my right (hence the feet i keep feeling in my ribs!). we were also told that olivia seemed to have plenty of amniotic fluid so that what good to hear. after lots of measurements the ultrasound tech told us that she was estimated to be 8 pounds and 15 ounces! WHAT!? are you kidding me? what happened to the right on track - average of 7.5 pounds - baby that we've been expecting all this time!? there had seriously been no mention of a big baby until my due date. josh and i were both shocked. then we got to wait some more before they started the NST - which was pretty boring and went fine. olivia wasn't too active and was certainly nowhere near the breakdancing baby she was a couple weeks prior after my sinus meds hyped her up. more waiting and then it was time to talk to the doctor. he basically said that we had 2 options - wait a week or so and see if my cervix was being more cooperative and risk having a baby close to 10 pounds, or go ahead and induce earlier while she was less large and try to force my forgetful cervix into doing what it is supposed to do. he warned that the process may not work since i'm not dilated at all and the whole two-phase induction might have to be repeated. yikes. i sat there totally overwhelmed having no idea what to say, and our doctor shared that there was really no right answer. he decided to check the on-call schedule at the hospital and said that my doctor (not this guy) was on call wednesday so we could set something up for tuesday night and hopefully my doctor would be the one to deliver her on wednesday. i still felt totally overwhelmed and tears were filling up my eyes. again. we didn't really know what to do, and like the doctor said, there was no right answer. so we just went along with what he said and set up our induction to start tonight. i bawled as soon as we got to the car, feeling so overwhelmed at the thought of being induced the following day (today!). i was irritated that there was no mention of a big baby until my due date, and i was irritated that my cervix was not doing it's job. and i was nervous that the induction wouldn't work and they would have to do it again. or that i'd end up with a c-section. fortunately josh was very supportive, and once he had a bit of time to process what was happening, he became extremely positive (as usual) and excited about meeting our daughter in no time. briana also came over in the afternoon to share her experience with the two-phase induction just a few months prior. she was excited and very reassuring! josh and i celebrated our "last supper" last night at logan's, and i even found olivia a couple of black and white board books that i had been looking for at lifeway where we went to walk around afterwards. i laid awake last night thinking endlessly about everything, but i was able to get some sleep. so that's where we're at. i'm still nervous, but i've spent my day cleaning (more!) and finishing up some last minute items. it is nice to know that i'm leaving my house neat and i have all of the laundry caught up. and i have more than enough time to agonize over exactly what i'm taking to the hospital, even though our bags have pretty much been packed for weeks! my mom is on her way here and will be here shortly, and josh is finishing up work for the remainder of the week. i'm still pretty terrified but there's no turning back now! and i know that ultimately God is in control and we will get to meet our daughter soon! let's do this, olivia!

the last bump pic! 

39 weeks!

happy st. patrick's day! 

what’s new with baby: according to my app, little olivia is just over 7 pounds and about 20 inches long! she's continuing to put on fat and is ready to meet the world! come on baby!!! 

what’s new with mom: mom is feeling quite ginormous these days. i've gone into "let's get this baby out!" mode this week - meaning i've tried eating spicy foods, gone on several walks, and bounced on my exercise ball a lot. so far nothing has worked and i'm getting quite inpatient. don't get me wrong, i'm glad olivia likes it in there, but come on. everything went great at the doctor's on monday - my blood pressure was fine and her heart beat was normal. and my ankles have even returned to their normal size this week! i've continued to nest like crazy - meaning i've re-cleaned stuff i cleaned earlier in my nesting phase and gotten even a little more psycho about what is dirty. at least my house is clean! 

wardrobe:

cravings: hmm... i can't think of anything particular. despite filling up faster i have continued to be quite hungry! 

anything hard? definitely the waiting game at this point. i'm quite the planner by nature and i love to know what's coming up next and have my schedule figured out. you can't really do that with a baby! i had really hoped that i would have gone into labor naturally by this point, even though i know that it's not uncommon to go late, especially when it's your first baby. all day i kept telling olivia that st. patrick's day would be a fun birthday, but she hasn't listened. so that's where i'm at. we'll see what the doctor says in the morning! 

best moment(s) of the week: hmm... this week really hasn't been too eventful. lots of cleaning and organizing and a couple good naps. i was definitely excited to get the nursery all finished up at the beginning of this week! and a had a great time hanging out with friends on saturday and josh and i had a fun little date on friday (which ended with UK losing in the SEC tournament - don't they know olivia has a tiny little UK hat to wear!?). and i got an awesome package in the mail from mindy, who crocheted olivia the most precious blanket and little booties. how talented is she!? i can't wait to see those little booties on olivia! 

the nursery reveal

i have to say i'm quite happy with the way olivia's nursery came out. i'm super happy with the color scheme, which was chosen back in november when my mom and i picked out fabric for the quilt i'm working on for olivia. (no, i haven't finished it, but it will be tackled this week if she doesn't come! the top and back are done, i'm just not looking forward to pinning together the "sandwich.")

i think the nursery is definitely for a girl without being GIRLY. there's touches of pink of course, but they are balanced by the neutrals and sage green. and i like that everything came together from a pretty eclectic background - mixes of new (the crib, the curtains, and the chair we got as a GREAT store closing deal), consignment store (the dresser which our friend zach refinished, the lamp, the book shelf, and the small table by the chair), homemade (the bedskirt and pillow made by my mom, the birds painted on the wall by me, the bird painting by me, and the paper mobile made by me), and vintage (the quilt squares above the crib which were originally in a quilt top that was started but never finished by my grandma's neighbor back in the day).

i really should have taken some before and after pics because the nursery was a hot mess back around christmas. oh well. without further ado...

of course there's stuff that will change or be added (i have other ideas that have yet to come to fruition), but as of right now i like that it has enough without being too crazy. if olivia is anything like me she'll have 8 bazillion collections in a few years anyway. i hope she likes her room!