pregnancy diaries: the beginning

written 7/17

well, i'm super excited to announce that i am expecting a baby, due march 2013! you saw the pic. anyway, getting pregnant has not been as easy as i thought it would be, and there have definitely been a series of several disappointments since the beginning of this year. i know six months of trying is NOTHING compared to many people, and i'm so thankful that the lord has blessed me in this way. i'm not taking this for granted for a moment and i'm constantly praying for the health of my tiny baby. i'm nervous and feeling like crap and experiencing all those other wonderful pregnancy symptoms. but i wanted to back up and chronicle this experience from the very beginning so i'll have record of such an exciting time in my life!

i began suspecting that i might be pregnant several weeks ago, pretty much immediately after it actually happened actually. i was feeling quite exhausted and had a couple other small symptoms, but i never said anything about it to josh or anyone because i didn't want to get my hopes up and be disappointed again. (this has definitely happened a few times in the past several months - chemical pregnancies, i think.) i held off as long as i could on taking a test, until i felt like i was sufficiently late. finally on saturday july 14th, i peed on the stick , and lo and behold, two little lines popped up! i was ecstatic and completely in shock at the same time! after several minutes of shock i took the test out and held it out to josh, who was sitting in his recliner playing monopoly on his ipad. apparently he had no idea what a pregnancy test looks like because he grabbed it, said, "what's this?", and immediately dropped (an accident) it and picked it back up. i stood there rolling my eyes waiting for him to figure it out. eventually it registered what he was holding and he looked at me and said, "YOU'RE PREGNANT!?" i stood there smiling and nodding, with tears of joy filling my eyes. he got up and gave me a hug, both of us just standing there silently trying to grasp the reality of the situation.

josh, being the problem solver that he is, was discussing paternity leave, baby names, and finances within minutes. it was so cute. the next two nights he made me dinner and has been completely adorable. he even brought me flowers and a card! the message read: "i am very excited to start a family with you and i know that you will be an amazing mom! i'm looking forward to the next chapter of our life with kids. however, you will always be my first love. i love you so much!" sorry ladies, he's taken! and he's constantly asking me if he can get me anything and how i'm feeling. speaking of that, i've been feeling like crap. nauseous during the day, bad cramps at night. i'm hungry and thirsty. and my sense of smell is really good now! anyway, there's much more to come! i hope you'll enjoy this journey with me!

it's faint but it's there!