Thursday, September 13, 2012

pregnancy diaries: weeks 4 & 5

written 7/22

well these couple weeks have gone pretty well, i guess. i'm questioning lots of things about how i'm feeling and what i'm doing. ah the new anxieties that come with feeling completely and utterly responsible for a new life. i'm feeling nauseous and hungry quite a bit, which leads me to feel like i'm over-eating and just getting fat. "they" say you shouldn't really start showing until 12 weeks, but i feel like that's going to happen sooner. and "they" say you should only gain about 3 pounds in your first trimester, and i'm pretty sure i'm going to blow that out of the water. i seriously feel so hungry! is that normal!? my baby is tiny! how is it so hungry!? anyway, i'm trying to not freak out and just listen to my body, because that's the best thing to do, right? even if i gain 50 pounds (god willing that won't happen!) it will be worth it if the end result is a healthy baby, and hopefully i will lose it quickly with breast feeding, right?

anyway, i guess the main complaint is the nausea and hunger right now. that and feeling totally exhausted. and emotional. and maybe moody. so maybe i'm just whining? but regardless of all of this i'm so excited to be pregnant! we've told our immediate families and a few close friends at this point and they've all been so excited.  i think a lot of people knew we were "ready" for a baby (we have been married 5 1/2 years and i FINALLY finished school in january) so i won't say anyone is shocked - but definitely excited. telling people does make me a little nervous - what if something goes wrong? - but at the same time i know people will support us no matter what and i don't feel like life was meant to be lived alone. i know that no matter what happens god is in control. that's what matters.

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